Privacy Policy

Welcome to the Future of Privacy! At Glorious Futuristic Data Tomorrow Company, LLC (hereinafter referred to as “GFDTC, LLC,” “Us,” or “Our Overlords”), we are fully committed to respecting your data rights. In our privacy-centric universe, we value your personal information just slightly more than the gummy bears left over in the break room, which means your data is safe! Probably! With the click of a button, you consent to us collecting any and all data points that can be collected by human, machine, or telepathic alien species, including (but not limited to) your browsing history, shopping habits, facial expressions while browsing cat memes, and any weird thoughts you have around 3 a.m. Our primary goal is to enhance your experience, or at least convince you that we’re enhancing it.

We will never sell your data to “other” companies. Instead, we will exclusively share it with our vast network of “collaborative, privacy-oriented partners” (also known as “companies that will pay us for it”). This data may be used for targeted ads, unskippable holographic pop-ups, or possibly to suggest you try that one sandwich shop you accidentally checked into seven years ago. All data is stored securely on an intergalactic mainframe, operated by a highly trained group of quantum robots who assure us they are only mildly interested in eventual world domination. By continuing to use GFDTC, LLC’s services, you agree to this privacy policy, or, as we like to call it, the “Friendly Data Liberation Manifesto.” Thank you, and may your data live long and prosper… with us.